Broken Marriages In Crisis

Problems in Marriage - Trying To Make Marriage Stronger

2011-07-31T14:02:00.001-07:00

Can marriage be compared to life experiences like parenting or living on our own for the first time? Something we have no clue about until we actually "live" it? Or could most of today's problems in marriages have been avoided if we had been formally educated about relationships before we tied the knot? After all, we are required to learn the rules of the road before we get a driver's license. What if we had all been required to take and pass "Relationships 101" before we were granted a marriage license? Would we be better prepared to handle problems in marriage as they arise? Would we all have a stronger marriage?

Most of us enter into marriage knowing little about relationships. It's fair to assume that we all acquire most of our knowledge about the opposite sex after we are married. But, if you had been given the knowledge before you married, do you think you could have avoided a lot of unnecessary pain? What about divorce? Should couples be required to work on their marriage before they are granted a divorce decree? It's an interesting thought. Do you ever wonder how many divorces could be prevented if couples have the right tools to fix their relationships? I believe that it's never too late to become knowledgeable and at least attempt to work on problems in a marriage. The article below discusses 5 ways to make your marriage stronger.

Whether you have been married for six months or 60 years, you can always learn ways to become a better husband or wife. In fact, the happiest couples I know are the ones who make a deliberate effort to learn how to make their marriage stronger. Many people are required to take continued education courses to become better employees. Imagine how much lower the divorce rate would be if we were required to take continued education courses to become better spouses!

5 Ways to Make Your Marriage Stronger | hitched

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Can You Fix A Broken Marriage? How Do You Know If A Relationship Can Be Healed?

2011-07-30T13:19:00.001-07:00

Are you more inclined to believe every problem in a marriage has a solution? Or, do you feel helpless to fix what is broken in your relationship? In every troubled marriage, there is an undeniable moment of truth when the reality that something needs to change is no longer avoidable. It is this moment when you must decide if you are going to make a plan to save your marriage or if divorce is the path you are destined to take.

Taking a deep look into the problems in your relationship is the first place to start. Sometimes viewing a marriage analytically offers a clearer picture and allows you to disentangle yourself from the web of emotional confusion so that you can form a plan of action.

Repairing the Relationship

In her new book, "Deal Breakers," psychoanalyst Bethany Marshall outlines how men and women should decide when to continue working on a relationship and when to call it quits. If you're unhappy with the other person, you have to define the problem, set a time limit and allow the other person to reach for solutions. She has to step back to see if he does reach for it, instead of nagging.

The assignment for both of you becomes: Find out what it is that makes you happy and decide how you can bring that home. For every problem there is a solution. You can't just live for the promise of a future where things magically get better.

'Deal Breakers': How to Heal a Relationship - ABC News

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Healing A Broken Marriage During A Separation

2011-07-26T10:23:00.001-07:00

Can Time Spent Apart Be A Good Thing For A Bad Marriage?

More often than not, a separation in a troubled marriage is thought of as a precursor to divorce. Yet, when looked at through a different lens the opposite can be true. Taking a break from the intensity of a struggling marriage can be a healing experience for you, your spouse, and your marriage if you part ways with the intent of using the time advantageously.

The article below examines some of the ways to approach healing a marriage after a separation.

Take The Time To Heal Yourself

Utilize the time apart to heal your wounds and revitalize yourself. When the time comes for you to reconnect you want to bring the very best of yourself back to your marriage. You will feel confident and your spouse will find you much more appealing.

Help Me Heal My Broken Marriage - I Don't Want A Divorce!

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Relationship Breakdown - The Real Cost of Separation and Divorce

2011-07-25T19:47:00.001-07:00

The differences between the sexes is no more apparent that in our relationships. Interestingly enough though, regardless of the differences, when it comes separation and divorce, everyone still ends up losing.

An extensive, study looking at the immediate and long-term financial and social impacts of a break-up, has shown that women end up relatively worse off in terms of income four years after separation, while men are financial stable but experience an increase in loneliness.

“Separation has an enormous impact on both men and women,” said Professor David de Vaus, Executive Dean of UQ's Faculty of Social and Behavioural Sciences and co-author of the study. “Although women suffer persisting financial loss after separation, their mental health recovers much better than men's,” he said.

The study - Relationship breakdown and social exclusion: A longitudinal analysis - looks at a sample of around 14,000 people and their situation two years before a separation and up to four years after. Co-authored by researchers from The University of Queensland, the Australian Institute of Family Studies and the Australian National University, this study identified that 57% of separated women experienced a loss in income the year immediately following separation.

“Divorce has a short-term and medium-term effect and, financially, women take a long-term hit,” said Professor de Vaus. Although women experience damage financially the study found that there was a noticeable increase in their social support network, where as men suffered emotionally, with a sharp drop in life satisfaction. In the year following separation, 48% of men who were still single continued to feel very lonely compared to 39% of women who remained single.

Relationship breakdown - the real cost

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How to Save My Marriage - Use This Proven "Trick" To Rescue Your Broken Marriage!

2009-07-13T09:26:00.001-07:00

“I don’t know how to save my marriage.” If this is your dilemma, you may get the feeling that you are on your own. Especially if your partner is not working on the relationship as hard as you are. Let me tell you straight away though, that you are not alone. Did you know there are more than 2 million divorces happening every year? In this article, you will learn of an easy solution to the most common dilemma for individuals struggling with a marriage in crisis. I am going to show you how to renew your broken marriage!

How You Can Get Your Spouse Back Into Your Arms? In a nutshell, there are techniques that you can use to "trick" your partner into falling back in love with you. Furthermore, these techniques work even better for people who have been in love with each other before! That would be you! You can learn to manipulate the conditions in your relationship so that your partner will fall completely in love with you! Head over heels in love! What does this mean for you? It means that no matter how bad your relationship is right now, it is possible for you to say to yourself “I know that I can save my marriage!”

The biology of love and what it can do for your marriage. Let's learn a little bit about what love does to our brains. Basically, love is a special kind of chemistry. When we fall in love our brains are flooded with four chemicals. We feel a high that no other human emotion can create. Did you know that the effects of this high can last up to three years? You can get a lot of mileage out of that! More importantly, love is addictive. Powerfully addictive! The chemicals that we create when we fall in
love have addictive qualities equal to drugs like cocaine. So that means, once you "trick" your partner into falling back in love with you, they won't be able to get enough of you. This is powerful. You will have all kinds of opportunities to strengthen your marriage so that it will never break again.

You're thinking "Sign me up! How do I get started? How do I get my partner to fall in love with me again?"

First: It comes down to having been in love with each other before. This past experience gives you a huge advantage. Huge, I tell you! When you were first falling in love with your partner, your bodies used a combination of your five senses along with the chemicals produced by your brain to basically put each other through a series of tests. Without going into too much detail, these pop quizzes determined that you were a good match for one another. Your advantage is that you have already passed the test, you have been preapproved! You have good chemistry.

Second: Another advantage for you is that you have been in a long term relationship (marriage!) so you and your partner have developed a bond. It might not feel like it right now while things are rocky, but it is true. Studies have shown that the shared history of a long-term relationship in combination with "good chemistry" create the perfect conditions to fall in love again.

Third: There are simple techniques you can use to drive up the level of dopamine in your spouses brain to trigger feelings of romantic love! This is where the fun begins!

Quick Recap: Okay, so now you know that love really comes down to a chemical addiction between two people. You know that because of your marriage, you and your spouse have developed a bond over time. This chemistry between the two of you along with the bond that you have established provide the perfect conditions for you to fall in love again. Now, you bring it all home by engaging in activities together that drive up the level of dopamine in the brain and thus will trigger feelings of romantic love. Simple.

Remember, your spouse chose to marry you for a very good reason, you were a good match and you still are! So, be yourself and let your partner remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. Utilizing the information above will help you to rekindle old feelings of attraction and draw your spouse back to you.

How to Save My Marriage - The Single Best Solution For Any Marital Problem!

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Save Your Broken Marriage – Restore Your Marriage After Separation

2009-07-04T14:38:00.001-07:00

Can my broken marriage be saved after a separation? Whatever the catalyst behind the separation, there are many reasons to be hopeful when trying restore your marriage after an estrangement. A separation can very well be advantageous for a troubled relationship in many ways. It can serve as an opportunity to make your marriage healthier and stronger than it was before. The time apart can be utilized as a time to think, to reflect, to analyze, to cool off and calm down, and to take a break from each other. It also provides time and space for each spouse to make unhurried, thoughtful decisions instead of waiting for things to blow up and then impulsively ending the marriage. Used in this way, a separation can actually help to save a marriage.

What can I do to reconcile with my spouse? Now that you and your partner have had time to regroup, hopefully the intensity of the emotions surrounding your marital problems have had a chance to subside. Now you can attempt to give your marriage a second chance with a clean slate. Saving your broken marriage will be a very straight forward two-step process. You will need to:

Reconnect emotionally. This may seem like a huge hurdle to you but in reality you have the advantage when it comes to love. Studies have shown that couples with a shared history have the ability to rekindle romantic love much easier than even a young couple attracted for the very first time. The bond that has developed throughout the course of your relationship is what gives married couples the ability to reignite the flames of passion quite easily. Often all it takes to nudge you along the road to reconciliation are some intimate conversations involving a lot of deeply felt eye contact or engaging in some novel activities together to encourage the release of dopamine in the brain and trigger those feelings of romantic love.

Learn Conflict Resolution. You will need to eliminate the bad patterns that you've established in your marriage and learn new ways of problem solving. Follow these guidelines when beginning to establish your new and improved method of communication.

back down when emotions flare up
make sure that your expectations are realistic
approach problem solving with a "team" attitude
let go of a need to win
start small and expect occasional set-backs
identify and solve the problems, don't obsess over the symptoms
These tips are invaluable and they really do work! Learning to save a broken marriage is challenging, at best. For more easy-to-follow yet effective tools, here for relationship solutions.

Can a Marital Separation Ever Save a Marriage?

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How to Repair A Broken Marriage - 20 Bonding Activities To Spark Romance

2009-07-04T00:05:00.001-07:00

Not sure how to repair a broken marriage? Are you drifting away from the one you love most and it's eating away at you day after day? Repair your broken marriage by trying to breathe some life back into your relationship. You need to remember the dopamine effect. Engage in activities together with your spouse that will drive up the level of dopamine in the brain and thus will trigger feelings of romantic love. Introducing any activity that may present itself as novel will tantalize the brain receptors and produce your desired effect - feelings of excitement that will evolve into desire, attraction, and connection.

Play Tourist For A Day in Your Own City
Cook Together and For Each Other – Each of You Cook Your Own Dish
Comedy Show, Jazz Clubs, Interactive Dinner Plays,
Host a Party Together – Poker Night, Board Games, Themed Party
Sports: Skiing, Golf, Tennis, Bowling League, Martial Arts, Learn A New Sport together.
Take Turns Exchange 1 Day Per Month Having A “Spoil-Me” Day
Hot Air Balloon Ride or Small Plane Ride
Amusement Park or Water Park
Public Event – Concert, Sporting Event, Play
Rent a Boat for Half a Day
Casino Night
Miniature Golf
Day Spa
Dancing
Run a 5k Together
Dinner cruise
Wine tasting
Extreme sport
Rollerskating
Billiards

All marriages are individual and unique. The above list of suggestions is designed to serve as a catalyst to spark your own creativity when trying to determine the itinerary for you and your spouse. Reintroducing the romance back into a marriage is the first step when trying to repair what is broken. The feeling of connectedness enables a couple to approach the bigger issues of a broken marriage with strength and hope.

How to Repair A Broken Marriage eHow.com

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Rescue Your Marriage From Divorce - What You Should Know

2009-07-02T09:25:00.001-07:00

Separation is not the only option if your marriage is on the rocks now. Divorce and changing partners does not guarantee that your marital problems will go away and the same relationship problems won’t happen again. You can repair your marriage and you can bring it back on track. Here is some very straight-forward information that you can use to rescue your broken marriage and avoid divorce and recapture the lost love.

What you should know:

Good Chemistry - Did you know that you and your spouse have good chemistry? The two of you verified this long ago when you first fell in love. During that early period, your brain and your five senses worked in unison to determine if you and your partner would be a good potential match. If you hadn't passed this covert test long ago you would not be together today. There would have been no "spark" and you would have gone your separate ways. You were meant to be together.

Shared History - Studies have shown that couples who have a long-term relationship (marriage) have an advantage when trying to recapture love. Over the course of time they have developed a bond. It is this bond or attachment that gives them an advantage when trying to reconnect.

What you can do:

Dopamine - Did you know that you can engage in activities together with your spouse that will drive up the level of dopamine in the brain and thus will trigger feelings of romantic love? Fun! Just about anything new, novel, exhilarating will do this. That is why you often hear marital advice suggesting going on a vacation or trying a new activity. These experiences will also create new memories and strengthen the bond that you already have.

The passion we first have when we start out in a new marriage eventually dies down. That's when we find that marriages can have hurdles. Marriages evolve through stages. With the correct knowledge and proper care, we can keep the flame of love glowing. If love is well nourished, it will continue to grow into a deep bond and a lifetime attachment.

Rescue Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce

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How to Repair a Broken Marriage - 3 Common Tactics

2009-07-01T08:06:00.001-07:00

None of us go into a marriage thinking that it could someday end. Almost everyone who enters into a marriage believes that it will be permanent. But for far too many of us our marriage can become broken and in need of repair. Over 48% of couples find themselves coping with a separation or a divorce, and when that happens the pain and emotional scars can last for years. If you are in a broken marriage and you feel as though you are struggling to hold on then there are a few things that you can do to repair the damage before it gets to the point where it can't be fixed. Let's talk about one tactic that you can use to repair a broken a marriage, or at least start.

One of the most common hot spots for couples is problem-solving. Problems arise in all marriages. Most couples are not prepared to handle conflict. When couples have not developed the proper tools to compromise - bad patterns are established. One pattern that develops often in marriages is the escalation of anger during an argument. Have you ever started a calm discussion with your spouse only to have it turn into a nasty shouting match before you realize it? The end result being uncontrolled anger and hurtful statements?

When you realize that things are heading in that direction, try using these three simple tactics to change the course of the argument.

Back off, soften your response, don't be defensive.
Acknowledge your partners perspective.
Abandon the need to be right.

The benefit of learning to use these tactics are two-fold. It will not only help to diffuse an argument but it will also enable you and your spouse learn to problem solve as a team.

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How to Save a Broken Marriage - What it Really Comes Down To

2009-06-28T09:16:00.001-07:00

No one enters into marriage expecting a divorce. However we do not live in an ideal world. Breakdowns in marriages are real. The best way to deal with a broken marriage is to pre-empt it because once a marriage is broken it is very difficult to restore. Since prevention is by far less painful than cure, let's begin by learning how to save a broken marriage. After all is said and done, saving a marriage really comes down to focusing two very specific but seemingly basic areas.

Learning how to fall in love again... So many married couples feel like this is an impossible idea. When in reality, because you are married, not is spite of it, falling in love again is even easier than the first time. Having an established long-term bond with your spouse puts you in an ideal position to fall in love again. Human biology dictates that love in basically a chemical reaction between two people that is initiated by their very first encounter. Once lost, love can very easily be prompted to bloom again. A few easy and fun techniques is all it takes to get those loving feelings to resurface in a troubled marriage.

Learning the proper care of a marriage... Once you have recaptured the love in your relationship, you and your spouse will feel much more motivated to repair what is broken in your marriage. The two of you will find yourselves open and willing to make the changes needed to continue growing closer and to protect your new loving relationship from damage. This major areas that almost all couples struggle with are:

problem solving/conflict resolution skills
communication
committment
mutual respect
To learn more in-depth relationship solutions visit here.

How to Save a Broken Marriage

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Heal Your Broken Marriage - 10 Easy Tips To Reconnect!

2009-06-27T09:26:00.001-07:00

There are many ways to begin to heal a broken marriage. Often, by the time couples have reached the point of recognizing that their marriage is broken, the situation can seem overwhelming. They are often are at a loss as they begin to search for ways to heal the relationship.

If your marriage falls into this category, your relationship is most likely damaged and tense. You and your spouse are emotionally distant and avoiding each other. Before you can take on the bigger challenge of addressing the problems in your broken marriage, you must reconnect on some level. You and your spouse need to be able to come together in order to feel hope that the relationship can be healed.

The marriage that started with happiness and excitement is now filled with resentment and bitterness. Although you began your marriage with lots of love, little by little that love has eroded and is sometimes hard to spot. Overtime somehow, couples begin to take each other for granted and forget to do those little things that show love. As crazy as it sounds when you show love, you become more lovable yourself. Try it, and see what happens. This is your first step when reconnecting.

Here are some suggestions to show your spouse some love:

Do small things that you know will please - cook a favorite meal, bring home a favorite treat, offer a neck massage, surprise them with a little gift, etc.

Offer a compliment once a day - make it genuine and it will become a habit

Plan time together - a date night, a project day, meet for lunch during the week, etc.

Keep in touch you are apart - send little text messages, phone once a day, let your partner know you are thinking of them, plant little love notes to be found later, send a card in the mail etc.

Reminisce - tell your spouse what attracted you to them in the beginning, talk about your first kiss, what made you fall in love, etc

Try some humor - share a funny story, tell jokes, encourage lots of laughter.

Praise your partner in front of other people, family, friends, coworkers.

Show affection at social events - smile from across the room, hold hands, lightly touch each other, etc.

Hang out together - sit with one another, watch a movie together, offer to help with a task, etc.

Initiate affection - cuddles, hugs, and yes, even sex :)

How to Heal a Broken Marriage My Distant Love

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Repair A Broken Marriage: 3 Simple Techniques That Really Work

2009-06-26T13:24:00.001-07:00

Taking the first step to repair a broken marriage is an overwhelming task for many couples. It helps to have strategies in place and techniques to use that have worked for other couples who have repaired their own broken marriages. Below are some very basic techniques that always help ease couples into the process of repairing their
relationships.
Take time out and pull yourself together. This seems to be one of the hardest things for couples to do. I've noticed that when I counsel couples who are trying to deal with a crisis in their marriage that they feel a desperation to address the problems immediatly. When facing the threat of divorce, it is very understandable for an individual to feel panicked to repair what is broken in the marriage. But, we all know that sometimes you have to walk away from the trees to be able to see the forest. Other times you have to fail before you can figure out how to succeed. This is why I always stress the importance of creating emotional distance as the first step in repairing a broken marriage.
Always follow a plan: This is another technique that cannot be stressed enough. During an emotionally charged time, it is almost impossible to maintain a realistic perspective. It's easy to become distracted and succumb to old patterns and habits that have proven to be damaging to your marriage in the past. A plan is concrete and will help to you to be focused. It will prove to be one of your more important keys to success.
Incorporate new problem solving/communication techniques.
In order to undo the damage that has been done, trying new approaches to resolving conflict in you marriage will always lead you down the right road. Successful communication is the foundation of all working marriages.

Marriage : Can Broken Marriages Be Fixed?

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How To Repair A Broken Marriage - Emergency Techniques To Repair a Marriage In Crisis

2009-06-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

Is your marriage on the rocks and headed for divorce? Break-downs in marriages are painful and confusing but there are ways to navigate a path through the broken pieces of your marriage and regain the happiness you once knew.

When a marriage is in crisis, there are two things things that will work in your favor (and work well) to restore your relationship. If you understand how to implement these techniques you can avoid a divorce and begin to repair your marriage starting today.

Restore communication. There is no getting around it. The break-down in communication between you and your spouse is only further damaging your marriage and making it impossible for you to resolve your problems. Good communication is the foundation of all relationships and cannot be overlooked.
Why? When two people first meet the initial communication creates a familiarity and affection. That affection, in turn, encourages a motivation to seek a deeper connection. That connection, when properly nourished, grows into a life-long and loving bond. Breakdown in communication leads to a break in the bond between couples. This, in turn, results in what you are currently experiencing - the breakdown of the marriage.
Repair the broken bond. This will be a lot easier than you think! You may not realize this but you already have a head start. By borrowing a little knowledge from the science of love, there are techniques that you can use to entice your spouse into falling in love with you. Again. Plus, it's so simple! Your head start? Your advantage is that you are already married. Studies have proven that couples who have been in a long-term realtionship (i.e. marriage) can fall in love over and over again because of the bonds that they have established. So, once you repair the broken bond, you are in like flin. When the bond has been re-established, affection will resurface and you and your partner will be motivated to work on the bigger issues.
How? There are actually some pretty powerful ways you can restore your relationship, repair your broken marriage, and avoid divorce that are simply beyond the scope of this particular post ( but are super easy….super fun ways of recapturing love that utilize the one advantage that you already have).